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Marrying Myself: Jobs Americans Won't Do    

  By: Dr. Duke Pesta
   Published : May 16, 2017

Given the ghoulish insanity of the abort-a-holic, anti-human, science denying, baby-parts trafficking, progressive Left, perhaps a life of barren, self-imposed sterility and Darwin award-worthy solipsism is a good thing for the future of mankind.

Not content to trash traditional marriage, bemoan the gender “exclusivity” of Mother’s Day, and argue—Planned Parenthood style—that what mothers really want on their special holiday is more access to abortion, we now behold the latest self-interested folly of the suicide cult that is modern liberalism: Sologamy.

Yes, that’s right: solo-gamy. People choosing to go it alone by marrying themselves, in formal, even religious ceremonies, complete with wedding cakes, receptions, and gift registries. Who needs a toaster when you can give the blushing bride-groom a gift subscription to Androgyny Magazine, or a certificate from Planned Parenthood sponsoring a late-term abortion in the name of the happy single?

It makes sense in a creepy, spoiled child sort of way. Progressives have become so insular and entitled, so averse to the commitment, sacrifice, and other-directedness required for the possibility of actual marriage and family, that they are alone comfortable within the vacuous aura of their own entitled snow-flakery.

But there is indeed a bright side to this lemming-like commitment to leftist self-extinction. If progressive “men” choose to marry themselves—and can we honestly characterize as “male” such an amalgam of excessive hair product, floral-scented soaps, manscaped privy parts, callous-free hands, and tear-soaked pillows—then we have an iron clad guarantee that their sex lives will increase exponentially. And they will no longer have to drop 50 bucks on a meal of organic sprouts at Whole Foods for their “partners” in the hopes of getting lucky. Handy, indeed.

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