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Berries, Ice Cream, Gay Agenda    

  By: Dr. Duke Pesta
   Published : June 2, 2017

I’m serving up two scoops of liberal hypocrisy. First, the proglodyte city of East Lansing, Michigan is banning a local farmer from selling his blueberries at the city’s farmer’s market. The Tennes family, whose farm is located 20 miles outside of East Lansing, are having their blueberries blackballed because they don’t rent out their family orchard for gay weddings. And this is despite the fact that the family is perfectly willing to sell their blueberries to all comers at the farmer’s market, regardless of orientation. But the city of East Lansing feels empowered to censure the family for “discrimination” that occurs entirely outside their city jurisdiction and has nothing to do with blueberries, farmer’s markets, or even the inquisitors of East Lansing.

So, if you’re keeping score at home, not making a dress for Melania Trump because of her husband’s politics is a blow for social justice, while not hosting gay weddings in your orchard is discrimination.

Not to be out done, corporate Vermont capitalist multi-millionaires Ben and Jerry have ordered their stores in Australia to refuse to serve two scoops of the same flavor ice cream to any of their customers until the Aussie government legalizes gay marriage. Way to go boys, holding your own customers hostage at cone point until the host nation capitulates. Punish people who almost entirely agree with you to send a message. Maybe next time you could behead your own kids to protest ISIS … you know, if you weren’t so darn sympathetic to their cause.

But not so fast my friends. Houston, we have a problem. By banning the sale of same flavor ice cream scoops, Ben and Jerry are actually reinforcing bigotry and heteronormativity! If they were really for gay marriage, they would ban the sale of two different flavors. Think about it: gay marriage joins together two men or two women—two of the same flavors. Boring old traditional marriage simply joined male and female—two differing flavors. By refusing to ban the sale of two scoops of different flavored ice cream, and enforcing a ban on same flavor ice cream, Ben and Jerry engage in culinary hate crime. And by forcing their gay customers to buy only differently-flavored ice cream scoops, they show themselves to be Class A homophobes.

Quick, someone get East Lansing on the phone…

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